The Perks of Being Me

October 8, 2012

It's been a long time since I wrote something, other than C++ code. I was inspired by reading The Perks of Being A Wallflower. Its movie moved me so much that I instantly became a fan. I asked for a copy last night and hopefully by tonight, I could finish the whole book.

Part 1.

So, the sad thing about my life right now is that I am losing one of my closest friends. It's been more than a month since we last talked. The last thing I said was, "Sorry", and the last thing he/she said was, "I deserved it." After that, it's like we don't know each other anymore. I still think it's his/her fault but I still said sorry, but he/she never did. And that was what really hurt me.

There hasn't been a day that I haven't thought of that someone. Maybe I should talk to him/her first? Maybe I'll wait some more? Maybe I don't need him/her anymore? Or maybe he/she just doesn't care about me? But the longer we stay apart, the more I think that we can never fix this.

I lost way too many friends in the past by being so clingy. So I can't help but think that this is a phase for me.

Anyway, thinking hurts. Action solves.

Part 2.

There was someone I used to "love". And we are again hanging out with our friends these past few weeks. I'm over her and I know she's just like that, but I can't help crushing on her again. I guess the things you like in a person never change much even after getting over her.

"We accept love we think we deserve."


P.S. This is a journal for my future self. Feel free to read it, but don't share it.